You know that first drop of water that falls on your floor that first major rain of spring. No, you don’t. Why? Because many people don’t see the first drop of change. They live in a belief that they are protected from the elements, the outside, if they are safe in their home. But what if the element you need to avoid is inside with you?
This is how abuse begins. It doesn’t come all at once. It’s subtle like a slow leak. A hurtful word said in an argument or a slur, a grasp of your arm just a little too hard. It’s then followed at best by false promises and assurances that it’ll never happen again, or more readily, denial, misdirection and blame.This divide between your ideal of love, promises you made to yourself, plans you had for your future and the reality of the world within your own home is so vast, often time we fall in. Into despair and disbelief that allows us to be gaslit.
Some of us may have less strings or soul ties to their life making a clean break a possibility, but more often there are other lives involved that keep us in place and in pain longer than we should. Tied down by the “what ifs” of it all. What if I do this and it hurts the kids? What if I never find love again? What if he/she can change? What if I tried harder, made this change or that? The list goes on. Then you realize those single droplets have become too much to avoid, there are pots filled all around and you find yourself side stepping trying to evade a disaster, until one day you scream… I need a new roof!
A new home
A new start
A new beginning
A renewed me
Many of us have decided at one point that change is needed. For those among us that are rebuilding their esteem via self-love, we need to seek new sources of power. Friends, family and new interests are all helpful, but there is sometimes you need a new visual. Viewing yourself through Jenn’s lens could be the first time you truly see yourself as the phoenix you are. Burnt but not broken, reborn from the ashes of your prior self. These images can be the source of power you’ll need to gain the strength for the road ahead. The strength it will take to leave, to change the narrative and begin a new chapter.
This is something to be celebrated.
You do not have to be broken because you pushed to your breaking point.
You do not have to feel ugly because someone who is ugly (inside) told you so.
You do not have to continue to question your intelligence because you allowed yourself to believe in them for so long.
Their problems are their burden, not yours.
You are in a new house now with a new roof, and hopefully a new lease on life.
Love yourself enough to date yourself.
Send yourself flowers out of love, not apology
Get dressed and wear something they’d never allow you to leave the house
Or stay home and dance around naked because you can!
Your space is now a reflection of your healing, growth and personal style. You have a place in the world that is uniquely and solely yours. If you choose to share it in the future, great. But there’s no rush. This is your time. For now, hang that photo of the new BAD BOSS you on the wall and strut…it’s a new day.
XoXo Marissa
Our sessions have been referred to as being therapeutic, and our clients do share a lot of their personal trials & triumphs with us. So many inspirational women have walked through our doors; fighters, survivors, mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, ex wives…. every walk of life. We’re truly humbled by the amount of women that have trusted us to keep their stories private but show their strength and perseverance through our imagery. Lately we’ve heard an abundance of stories of survival… surviving the person who is supposed to love and protect you. I asked Marissa to write a blog about the topic, the underlying message is that you are not alone.
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline can be reached via web or phone (800-799-SAFE).
PS- Client pictured is not related to this topic, it’s just a beautiful image of a beautiful woman. 🙂
